Everything Changes
by Midgitte
Summary: Sequel to When the Stars Go Blue. After Logan and Ororo become a couple, everything in their lives begins to change. Will the changes be for the better? Better than it sounds I suck at summaries.
1. Morning Sickness

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men. That is all.

Author's Note: I just figured that since everyone seemed to like my first fic, and I still had so much more of the story to tell, I'd go ahead and make a sequel. Hope that you all enjoy.

xXx

She felt as though she was going to die, or, at the very least, she wished that she could. Ororo's entire body had rebelled against her. She compared this to a feeling of having been beaten up; the spinning sensation in her head turned the bathroom into a whirling white-and-gold Hell, and she felt like she'd been socked in the gut. Holding onto the sides of the toilet for dear life, she prepared for the next wave of vomit, which came sooner than she had expected. Leaning over the toilet, she tried not to gag, to do it quietly, so that she wouldn't awaken her boyfriend, who slumbered in the room beyond the bathroom's door.

Even while trapped in the prison which, ultimately, he had put her in, Ororo was still putting Logan's needs above her own. He'd had a rough night; tossing and turning in the fever of a particularly gruesome nightmare from which she had not been able to shake him. He woke up screaming, sobbing into her bosom, and it had taken nearly an hour to soothe him back to sleep. Right now, Logan needed rest as much as she needed Pepto-Bismol.

Ororo gazed into the bowl of the toilet, disgusted by the thin, brownish-yellow bile-and-stomach-acid combo floating in the water. She blinked and shook her head lightly, putting the lid down and flushing. Shivering from her illness, she fell back against the wall, curling herself into a little ball, with her knees clutched to her chest.

"Oh, Logan," she whispered, "what have we done? What are we _going_ to do?"

As if on cue, a knock on the door made her jump.

"'Ro…you okay in there?" Logan asked, his voice thick and groggy.

"Oh, um…yeah," she replied, "I'm all right. Do you need the bathroom?"

"Yeah, if you can spare it," he said. Ororo couldn't help but smile.

"Well, of course," she giggled, getting up and opening the door for him, "Enjoy."

He rolled his eyes and reached out to rumple her short, already tousled platinum tresses. She gave him a soft smile and went to her dresser, rummaging through her underwear drawer. Ororo figured that she might as well go down to the dining room and have some breakfast, even if she knew that she wouldn't keep any of it down. She felt absolutely famished, and, besides, she needed to eat. "Maybe some of those chocolate pastries that the cooks make every morning," she thought. Usually she made an effort to stay away from empty calories, but, with things in their present situation, she figured that if she was going to eat, she might as well have something that she could enjoy…twice.

"I'm going downstairs to get something to eat," Ororo told Logan as soon as he emerged from the bathroom, "would you like to come?"

"No," he shook his head, "I feel like I got run over by a freight train. If ya don't mind, I'd like to sleep a little longer."

"Fine with me," she replied, "you need the rest, anyway."

He nodded, climbing back into bed and re-settling himself amongst the Egyptian cotton sheets. She turned around, to offer to bring something from the dining room up for him, but he had already fallen back into slumber. Ororo smiled. "Sleeping like a…oh, never mind," she said to herself, shaking her head. The word "baby" rolled over and over in her head as she threw the day's undergarments onto her side of the bed and crossed to her closet.

Upon opening the doors, she felt the onset of yet another bout of dizziness. "No…no…" Ororo willed her stomach to settle itself, leaning against the frame of the closet until it had passed. "Thank the Goddess that it's Saturday. I don't have any classes that I'd have to find a substitute for, and I've got two days to rest and think before I have to cross that bridge," she thought as she picked out her clothes.

xXx

"Hi, Professor Monroe!" Ororo was greeted enthusiastically by several of her students as she entered the dining room. She gave all of them smiles and the appropriate responses as she made her way to the faculty table.

"Hey there, Ororo," John Macmillan, the non-mutant teacher of Biology, greeted her when she took her place at the head of the table. Several other teachers looked up from their plates to either give her a wave, a smile, or a salutation.

"Well hello. How is everyone this morning?" she asked, placing a napkin in her lap and taking two pastries from the platter nearest her. Ororo was glad that the conversation in the room was just loud enough to cover the rumbling of her hungry stomach, but not so loud that it upset her headache. Normally she would have employed the aid of some form of mild painkiller, but, at this point, she was wary of taking any medications at all until she could get to a doctor. Unconsciously, she pressed a hand against her forehead and closed her eyes.

"You alright, Ororo?" John asked, noticing her odd behavior.

"Hmm? Oh, oh yes, I'll be fine. I think I might be coming down with…er…that little virus that some of the students have had," she replied, thanking her lucky stars that the recent and identical illnesses that had been plaguing many of the students gave her something to use to placate anyone who showed concern on her behalf.

"Ah, yeah. Almost all of my classes, there's at least a couple of kids missing because of that," said John, reaching for the bottle of ketchup to pour onto his eggs. Ororo watched the thick, red liquid as it oozed out of the bottle's squeezable cap. Suddenly, the pastry that she'd just finished off began to whirl around her belly like a cyclone. She hated ketchup even in the most ordinary of circumstances, but now…oh Goddess.

"John…" she said, her voice breathy, "don't tell me…you're going to…eat that."

"'Course I am," he replied, "I put ketchup on my eggs every morning, you know that."

"Oh…no…" Ororo stood up so quickly that she knocked her chair over, and ran from the dining room with one hand over her mouth. Several of the students gasped, and almost every head in the room turned as she passed. John just shrugged.

"Too bad for Ororo," he addressed the rest of the table, taking a bite of his eggs, "She never gets sick. Ah, well, guess it was just her turn. There's always something going around this school. So many people in one area…it's a breeding place for germs."


	2. I want this so much

Author's Note: OK so I'm not getting as many reviews as I did with my last one...only three of them for the first chapter. Does this mean that you guys aren't reading this one, or just that you don't like it as much as the last? I don't know if I should continue with the story if no one likes it. Please, if you'd like to see further chapters to this, then tell me so with a review.

xXx

Ororo pressed her ear against the door of Logan's office, only to hear him arguing with one of his students.

"Kid, I asked for a brief description of the process of fertilization, and you gave me the lyrics to the Discovery Channel song," she heard him say, "after you pull a stunt like that, you really expect me to raise your grade on this test?" Ororo's eyes went wide in shock only for a second, and then, she couldn't help but grin. Perhaps roping Logan into teaching Advanced Health wasn't the brightest idea that she'd ever had.

After a few more muffled words that Ororo could not discern through the heavy wood of the door, a boy who looked to be in about the tenth grade emerged from the room, literally glowing orange with anger and muttering curses under his breath. Instead of allowing the door to slam behind him, Ororo caught it and entered the room. Logan, who had returned to grading test papers, looked up as soon he heard footsteps against the parquet floor of his office. He smiled when his eyes fell upon his visitor.

"I hate teaching human reproduction to a bunch of goddamn hormone factories," he said, "Are you sure that there was absolutely no one else who could have taken over the class?"

"Trust me, Logan, you were my last resort," she assured him, "So, how are you enjoying having your own office?" She walked over to him and plopped herself right onto the desk, sitting on the stack of ungraded quizzes in front of him.

"I like it. Like it a lot. It's nice to have a place to go to get away from the rugrats," he replied. She nodded and looked around. The office had been vacated just a month ago when its old occupant had moved back home to take care of his ailing mother. Logan had only had it for two weeks, barely enough time to do anything with it as far as decorating. All that he had so far was a brown leather sofa, a potted plant that Ororo had taken from her greenhouse for him, and the stereo system that had previously been in his bedroom. Since he did most of his sleeping in Ororo's room nowadays, he'd decided to move his stereo into his office, where he'd get more use out of it. A pile of CDs lay on a shelf underneath the one that housed the stereo.

"Not even a placard or pictures on the walls or desk," Ororo thought, making a note to have his name engraved on a placard for his desk. Then, another thing occurred to her. "Maybe…in nine more months, he'll have baby pictures to frame and display on his desk. Or…maybe not." Despite the fact that the room was slightly warm, Ororo shivered. She still wasn't sure whether or not Logan would take the news well. She wasn't sure that the idea of being a father, having responsibilities and obligations towards a child, would appeal to the wild Wolverine. She looked away from Logan and down into her lap.

"'Ro…what's wrong, baby?" he asked. The word "baby" landed on her heart like an anvil.

"Don't call me that," she whispered.

"What, baby?" asked Logan. She nodded and he shrugged, not giving it a second thought. Ororo began to click the heels of her black pumps together, and she bit her lower lip in a gesture of obvious anxiety.

"What's wrong, 'Ro? Did you need to talk to me about something?" Logan inquired.

"Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all. I just…came to see how you were doing," she replied, too quickly for his liking.

"Ororo, you know I can tell when there's something on your mind. You wanna just come out and tell me, or am I gonna have to drag it out of you? I don't really wanna spend another night bangin' on your bedroom door," he stated flatly. He reached for her hands, gathering both of them up into his own, and she looked at him with the faintest hint of a tear in her eye. She hadn't cried in such a long time; not since that first night they'd spent together, and she didn't want to start now, if she could help it. She took a deep breath, steeling herself, and then took the plunge.

"Logan, you…you love me, don't you?" she asked.

"You don't even have to ask; you know that I do. Always," he replied, without hesitation.

"Always," she repeated, "No matter what? Not even if what I'm about to tell you isn't what you want to hear, no matter how it affects you, will you still love me? Because, Logan, I don't think I could stand it if you…if…" her voice broke and tears sprang to her eyes.

"Oh, God, Ororo…what…what happened?" he asked, standing up from his desk chair to put his arms around her. She clung to him, resting her head on his shoulder as she cried.

"I just…well, you know, I've never really had a family of my own," she said, her words coming out in rapid-fire, interrupted occasionally by a sob or a sniffle. She pulled away to gauge his reaction, but his face registered only worried confusion.

"My parents died when I was young, and then I was alone until I came here," she continued, "Charles, he...he became my second father, and Scott, Jean, and I were practically like siblings; we were a family. And now all of that's gone, and the only hope that I have left rests with you. I've been so scared to tell you. I guess I just don't think I'll be able to handle it if you get upset, because…because I want this _so much_, Logan. I'd give anything to keep it."

"Ororo, what are you trying to say, honey," Logan said, trying to discern what she had been saying in between her sobs, "What's the matter, what's…what would you give anything to keep?" Her eyes met his, and she freed her hands, using both of hers to guide one of his to her stomach. In his eyes, emotions passed by like floats in a parade…confusion, comprehension, shock, awe.

"You…you're…we…" he stammered. She nodded, and a single, solitary tear fell down her cheek. Instinctively, he reached up to brush it away. His fingers felt perfect against her skin, so warm and loving, and she took heart in the fact that she saw nothing on his face but a certain…confused kind of awe, as though he knew what was going on, but it was too extraordinary to truly register. Logan's right hand, which had just been hanging limp at his side, came to join the left on Ororo's abdomen, and he leaned into her, placing a soft kiss upon her cheek.

"'Ro, we're gonna have a baby," he whispered, "You and me, we're gonna have a family." She smiled and nodded.

"Yes, Logan…we are," and then a new batch of tears, this time born from jubilation and love, flooded from her eyes as she wrapped both of her arms around his shoulders, leaning into him so far that she slipped off of the desk with a small squeal. Logan caught her and placed her firmly upon the floor, but did not let her go. He bent down to kiss her mouth, tasting the salt of tears on her usually sensual-sweet lips.

"Ororo?" he asked, breaking the kiss, "You know that I love you more than anything, and you know that I haven't got any family of my own, either. What reason did you have for thinking that I wouldn't take this well?"

"I don't know, Logan. I really don't," she replied, "I'm not sure if it's the hormones, or…I was just…worried about everything, and not just what you would say when I told you. I was scared of…being pregnant, you know, how it would affect me, us. I still am, Logan, thinking about the future, for some reason, it terrifies me."

"Well, you've got no reason to be afraid anymore," he assured her, "I'm gonna protect you and our baby with my life, I can promise you that."


	3. Father

Author's Note: Thank you guys for all of the reviews. You don't know how much positive feedback on my work encourages me, not just with my fanfic, but also in other areas of my writing. I really love to hear what you guys think of my stuff, so keep it coming if you like what I'm doing. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

xXx

Ororo spent every weekday from noon-thirty until 1 o'clock in the meditation garden with the small group of students who joined her for her midday relaxation session. In addition to her meditation group, another small gathering of students liked to hang out in the garden, either to take a lunchtime nap or to do homework away from the chaos of the dining room. Because Logan's preferred method of releasing his stress was by kicking ass in the danger room, he'd always been leery of attending Ororo's garden sessions, afraid that his turbulence might upset her and the students' quest for inner peace.

However, since Ororo had told him of her pregnancy, he'd become even more protective of her than usual. All of his hopes and dreams now rested with his girlfriend and their unborn child, and Logan was determined that, as long as he drew breath, no harm would fall upon either Ororo or the new life developing within her. He felt that she was safe only whenever he was with her, and, for the past week, the only times that they had not been together were when their respective classes forced them to separate for a few hours.

If his constant presence at her side irked her, she showed it not even the slightest bit. Every now and then, like the time that he'd insisted upon her sitting in the control room of the Danger Room while he completed his simulation, just so that he'd know that she was close, she'd simply shake her head or roll her eyes and tell him that he was obsessing. "I know, Ororo, but I can't help it. I worry about you more than ever," he'd tell her, and then she'd take his hand and say, "I know" and everything would be all right again. It would be clear to him that she appreciated his concern, and that they shared the same dream for the future.

"We've been together for three months," Logan thought as he lay on his belly and watched Ororo and the students stretch their arms to the heavens in unison, "Three of the best months of my life." Summer in the Xavier mansion had flown by fast. It had been nice for the two of them. All of the students who had families to go back to for the two-and-a-half-month summer break had left the mansion, leaving only about three dozen students remaining. The mansion had been more quiet and peaceful than Logan had ever seen it, and with more privacy and no classes, he and Ororo had had time to allow their love to unfold, time to…"Well, time to make a baby, obviously," Logan told himself.

He could smell the perfume of fall in the air. What the autumn and the following winter would bring with them, Logan didn't know. Of course, he knew that pregnancy was not an easy process, and that things over the next nine months were not always going to be as tranquil as they were now, but he was determined that he would see Ororo through it, and help her as much as possible every step of the way. And then, in the spring…they'd have their baby, and everything, _everything_ would finally be perfect for both of them.

Logan had become so absorbed in his daydreaming that he failed to notice that the 1 o'clock bell had rung, and all of the students but one had exited the garden. The only student who remained was a petite blonde-haired girl whom he recognized from Ororo's Introduction to Mutant History class. The one time that he'd sat in on that class, he'd noted that the little blonde seemed timid and sat in the back of the room. Even from his distance away from them, he could see that the girl was upset, and that Ororo, who had placed a hand upon her shoulder, was attempting to calm her down.

"She is going to be such a good mother," Logan thought, using his hands to push himself into a standing position and brushing the grass from the front of his shirt and jeans. Ororo said a few last words to her student before giving the girl a hug and sending her along. Logan wrapped an arm around Ororo's shoulder when he reached her, and she leaned into him.

"I'll walk you to your next class," he told her. She giggled.

"You make it sound like we're in high school," she said. The two walked slowly across the grass, neither one caring that they would be late for their classes.

"Logan, Ms. Monroe, wait!" they heard someone yelling their names from across the garden. Both turned to see Rogue running towards them, her long black hair flying behind her.

"What the…?" Logan asked no one in particular. When Rogue reached them, she doubled over, putting her hands on her knees and breathing heavily.

"Ran…all the way…from the front…of the house," she explained, trying to catch her breath.

"What's wrong, Rogue?" Ororo asked, a sudden sense of fear arising in her belly.

"Dr. McCoy is here," the girl replied. This statement alone was met with looks of puzzlement from both of the adults before her. They'd been under the impression that Hank was on business in France. Rogue continued, "And there's a guy with him…who claims to be Professor Xavier."

Logan and Ororo turned and looked at each other. Logan smelt a whole spectrum of emotions radiating from his girlfriend, everything from shock to…hope. Before he could say anything to her, she turned away from him and took off running across the lawn, towards the mansion.

"Hey…!" Logan called after her, and then took off behind her, "Ororo, don't run! You'll overexert yourself and…"

"Aww, jeez…" Rogue said in a whiny tone before half-heartedly jogging to follow the two of them.

xXx

"Hello, Ororo," his voice in her head stopped her dead in her tracks. She felt that presence once again, the one that she'd always associated with comfort and familiarity.

"Charles…" she thought, her head spinning and her stomach doing flip-flops.

"Yes, my dear, yes…come to the office, Ororo," he answered her, and she smiled. She'd forgotten, temporarily, that he could read her thoughts if he chose to.

"Ororo! Ororo!" Logan's voice echoed through the hallway as he ran to catch up to her.

"Logan," she said once he found her, "it's him. It's really him!" He looked at her in surprise, but she just smiled, took his hand, and led him down the hallway to her office.

Upon entering, both were surprised to see Hank sitting on Ororo's white leather sofa with a dark-haired man of about thirty years of age, who was twirling a cane and had been looking at the door expectantly. His eyes lit up as soon as the weather goddess entered the room.

"Ororo, my dear!" the man said in a voice that sounded as though it had been soaked in a vat of bourbon and then run over by an eighteen-wheeler. He got up from the sofa, using his cane to limp over to the couple.

"I apologize for taking so long to come back to you, dear," the man said, "but the body that you see before you had simply been lying lifeless in a hospital bed for years whenever I got to it. It's taken me this long to train the vocal chords to function and the limbs to move. As you can see, the process is still far from complete."

She held out her arms to him, placing both of her hands on each of his arms to steady him. Although the physical manifestation of the man in front of her was more than a surprise to Ororo, she knew that the mind belonged to Professor Charles Xavier. She could feel his energy, his power. She looked over to Logan, and it became clear to her that he felt it as well.

"Charles…" she whispered, drawing him into her arms for an awkward embrace, "Father." She pulled away from him to see his reaction. Never before had she called him that, but, in the past four months, Ororo had realized that that was the role which he had played in her life, and had regretted never acknowledging it properly.

"Oh, Ororo," Charles said, "I did miss you terribly. I can only imagine what the past few months must have been like for you. Still, I see that you've performed admirably with what you had, as always. You've kept this school alive, and kept it much as it always was. However, it's become apparent to me that, in other arenas of your life, things have changed drastically." At this, Charles looked from Ororo to Logan, who gazed back at him evenly.

"Chuck," he said, just as familiarly as always, "Hasn't been the same around here without you."

"Indeed," the professor replied jovially, "and I would love to hear all about it, but, if the two of you don't mind, perhaps you'd like to come and sit with Hank and I on the sofa. While it is quite an experience to have functional legs once again, they get a bit stiff every now and then, and I don't want to over-do it."

He limped awkwardly over to the sofa, and Logan and Ororo followed. She took a seat in between the professor and Hank, whom she also greeted with a friendly hug, and Logan contented himself to sit at the end of the sofa closest to the professor.

"Now, my dear, perhaps it'd just be easier for you to start at the beginning. Which, I suppose, in this instance would have been…my end," said Charles, chuckling at his own little joke. Ororo slipped one of her hands into the professors and glanced over at Logan, who nodded. She smiled, and then began to relate to her adoptive father all of the events of the past four months. When she was through, she looked down at her lap, and then brought her head back up to see Logan's face. He was looking over to Charles, attempting to gauge his reaction.

"Well, I'll be damned," the professor said, "I sensed a definite link between the two of you, but I never guessed…I'm going to be a grandfather."


	4. I'm so sorry

xXx

"…and so, while Columbus thought that he was…uhh…he was sailing to India, he was really…umm…really in the...the…" Ororo stammered, covering her abdomen with one of her hands while clutching a dry-erase marker in the other. She'd awakened that morning with stomach cramps and had been suffering with them all day long. Logan had suggested that she find a substitute for her classes and spend the day resting, but she'd brushed it off as simply another effect of the pregnancy and had been determined to carry on with her daily activities. Now, though, she was wishing that she would have taken his advice.

"Oh, well," she thought. There was less than a half-hour left of her Introduction to World History class, and after that, it would be lunchtime. Ororo was sure that over the hour-long lunch period, she would be able to find one of her colleagues who would be willing to come and sit with her last class of the day. For the time being; however, the last thing that she felt like doing was standing there scribbling notes on the board.

"All right, class, that'll end the lecture for today," announced Ororo, "for the next half hour, I'd…I'd like you to…oww…umm…just…" Her words were cut off instantly by a high-pitched whine as pain crashed over her body like a sinister wave. Her legs turned to jelly beneath her, and she landed on her back on the floor with a soft thud. She looked up only to see the pale, frightened faces of twenty-five eighth-graders.

"Oh, Goddess," she moaned in agony, instinctively lowering her head as another onset of pain gripped her. What she saw when she looked down caused her to wail in fright. A pool of her own blood, thick and so red that it was almost black, had pooled between her legs, spilling onto the wooden floor and soaking almost the entirety of her white skirt. The room began to spin around her, and she fell backwards, unconscious.

Instantly, the class sprang to life.

"Oh my God!"

"What the hell do we do?"

"Go get someone!"

"Who?"

"Anyone!"

The entire class got out of their seats and bolted for the hallway beyond the classroom. Some ran to Professor Xavier's new office, some headed for the medical wing, where they knew that the visiting Dr. McCoy would be, and some went for the gymnasium and the training rooms, hoping that they'd find Mr. Wolverine. The rest of the class simply ran to get as far away from their bloodied and passed-out teacher as they could.

xXx

"Call an ambulance," Hank McCoy ordered Logan, who was hovering over Ororo's unconscious form with a look of the purest terror on his face.

"Why? What happened to her? What's wrong?" Logan asked.

"Just do as I say," barked Hank, "her life could depend on it. I think that she's having a miscarriage."

Logan stumbled backwards, fighting to maintain his balance.

"Wha…what?" he stammered.

"You heard me, boy, now go and call an ambulance! Move, move, move!" Hank yelled. Without another word, Logan bolted from the room to search for the nearest telephone.

xXx

"I'm sorry, Ororo, I'm so sorry," Logan whispered to his girlfriend, who was being kept asleep by the drugs that were I intravenously pumping into her, "I know that I did this to you. It's all my fault. I told you I'd hurt you, 'Ro…I told you, and you didn't believe me. And I tried so hard not to, oh God, I tried. It seems like just a couple of seconds there that I thought things might be good for us, 'Ro…but that's never the way it works with me."

He reached out to stroke her cheek, and found that her skin was cold. This entire fucking hospital was cold; even beneath two layers of shirts and a jacket, Logan was shivering. He watched the steady, even rhythm of her rising and falling chest, listening to her breaths, and taking comfort in the fact that she, at least, was still alive, and also in what the doctors had said. Common in women her age, common for the first pregnancy…but he knew that no matter how "common" it was for the doctors, it was still going to shatter Ororo's world, and then he'd be left to pick up the pieces and try to fit them back together as best he could. And, this time, he wasn't sure whether or not he'd be able to put everything back the way that it should be. Not when he was falling apart, too.

A low, pained moan startled him away from his woeful reverie, and his head snapped to the side to look at Ororo, whose eyes had opened, but were still misted over from the drugs.

"Lo…Logan…" she mumbled, tossing her head to the right. He stood up and went to the head of the bed.

"Yeah, 'Ro…I'm right here by ya," he assured her.

"Logan, I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice hoarse.

"Oh, God, 'Ro, for what?" he asked.

"For losing the baby. I knew that it was happening. When I fell down and I saw the blood, I just got this...this _feeling_, and I was so sad, and I just…knew," she said, "All I could think of before I passed out was you, and how guilty I felt for thinking that you wouldn't want it, because it turned out that you wanted it more than me. I failed you, Logan, and I'm so sorry." Her body tried to cry, but could summon up no tears.

"Ororo, please don't do this to yourself. You haven't failed anyone, least of all me. You're as much of a victim as I am. Your body failed you," he replied fiercely.

"I…no, I…" she muttered, before her head fell back on the pillow and, once again, she was no longer a part of the conscious world. For the first time in half a year, Logan felt tears welling up in his eyes.


	5. If you love it, let it go

**Author's Note: Yes, I realize that the chapter and its sections are short. I hope that's OK with everyone. After all, it's true that good things come in small packages. Let me know what you think.**

xXx

"You know what the doctors said, 'Ro," Logan told her, reaching for her hand beneath the sheets.

"I know," she whispered, letting him touch her but not returning the gesture.

"I know it hurts, 'Ro. It hurts me, too. But it's not the end. You can still have more, and we have years for…" he tried to comfort her, but was cut off abruptly.

"No, Logan," she said fiercely, "I don't want another baby! Don't you see? I wanted this baby!" With that, she let out a sob and turned around to bury her head in the pillow. He lowered his head into his hands and tried to battle the tears that threatened to escape…a battle that proved to be a losing one.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know," he whispered. She turned around to look at him, and, upon seeing that this was killing him, too, she snuggled next to him, burying her face in his chest, letting his body catch her tears as he cried into her silver hair. He wanted to tell her something, anything, he wanted to say that it was all going to be all right, but that was the same thing he'd told her about the baby. The same damn thing, and look at how that had turned out.

Long after Ororo had cried herself to sleep, Logan was still staring at the ceiling with tears drying on his face.

"I wish we didn't have to talk about it, but everyone says it's the only way," he said to himself sleepily, and then, his last waking thought came to him, "It's only been two weeks since she got home. Maybe in time it'll change…"

xXx

After gladly surrendering her duties as headmistress to Professor Xavier, Ororo had nothing left with which to occupy her days but her classes, and she'd thrown herself into those headlong. When she wasn't physically in the classroom, she was making and grading tests, preparing lesson plans, and even, in her spare time and on her off hours, reading the textbooks from which she taught, claiming that she had to "familiarize herself with the material."

"Ororo, you've been teaching history for years. And anyway, all that there is to it is memorizing a bunch of dates and events. If you're not familiar with it by now, honey, you're never gonna get it," Logan had once pointed out to her. This argument was met with nothing more than a dirty stare and her refusal to speak to him until he had apologized to her later that night. After that, she threw herself into his arms and bawled out her own apologies for nearly an hour until he kissed her eyes and ordered her to get some sleep. These days, Ororo was like a puppet in Logan's hands, complying with everything that he asked of her simply because she didn't know what else to do.

Although he had to admit that this did make it easier for him to take care of her, Logan didn't like it any more than anyone else did, but he didn't know how to stop it, either. Ororo was exactly the train wreck that she'd been two months after the deaths of Scott and Jean. She was hollow and empty, a workaholic who put no feeling into anything that she did, and simply went through the motions of every day like a robot, and she was withdrawn from everyone, with one exception. She clung to Logan for dear life, as though she was adrift in the Atlantic and he was a life preserver. Her sad eyes haunted him wherever he went, and all he could think of every time that he saw her was what he could possibly do to bring her out of it.

He had found a rare moment of solitude within his office after having left his eighth-grade Phys. Ed. class with a handful of basketballs and the excuse that he needed to make some copies of a test. In reality, he was slumped forwards in his desk chair, his head in his hands, thinking of the night before, when Ororo had slipped a condom into his hand, looked at him as though she were about to break down, and said, "Make love to me, Logan, please." He'd tried to do his best for her, but she had simply lain beneath him like a rag doll the entire time, waiting for him to finish, which had taken longer than usual because he was not turned on by the experience at all, and, by the time he was about to climax, he had been wishing that men could fake it the way that women did.

After, he had rested his head on her chest, listening to her as she cried.

"Maybe I should let you get me pregnant again," she'd said, "A baby would make you happy, and at least one of us should have something…" She shook her head and let that thought trail off.

"Ororo, we're not trying that again unless we both want it. Anyway, you don't have to have a baby to please me. You make me happy; you're the only thing that's keeping me alive, and that's all that I want," he told her.

"I wish that I could be happy," she whispered.

"Yeah," Logan replied, "so do I."

xXx

He awoke to an empty bed, his arm stretched out over the spot where Ororo usually slept. Logan jerked up in panic and searched the entire mansion for her scent,worried that she was not with him. He found her vanilla and sandalwood smell, but it was faint and cold, as though she'd been gone for hours. Fear snaked around his heart, and he felt cold and hollow. His eyes searched the room for any trace of her, and then, he saw it, sitting on his nightstand, weighted down by the pen that she'd used to compose it.

He lifted the sheet of notebook paper from the stand and his eyes traveled over it, reading but not comprehending, not at first, anyway:

_Logan,_

_I'm sorry for whatever effects that this will have upon you, but you must understand that I could not stay. It's too painful for me to see you every day and know that I've failed you, failed us, and that nothing can ever be the same between us again. Everything's changeed, and it breaks my heart and crushes my spirit, but, though I am bent and broken, I refuse to allow myself to destroy you. You're too precious to me, too beautiful for me to watch you wither beneath my sorrow. I myself don't even know where I'm going or what I'll do when I get there, so please, don't follow me. Remember that I'll love you forever, and that's why I must leave you._

_Always,_

_Ororo_

The note fell from his hand and fluttered silently to the floor, landing like a teardrop.

xXx

The eyes of Charles Xavier followed the man who had been pacing the floor of his office for nearly an hour.

"I just don't understand how she could do this, Chuck," Logan said, running a hand through his brown hair, "How could she think that leaving would be the answer to all of our problems?"

"According to Ororo's rationalizations, it was, Logan," replied Xavier.

"Bullshit!" cried Logan, "This isn't going to solve anything. It'll just make matters worse, for me, for her, for both of us!"

"Perhaps not," the professor said, "You never know what could happen. Things like this have an odd way of working themselves out, if you just give them time."

"I don't want to give it time, Chuck. I don't have any time to give. I need her. I don't know what I'm going to do without her here," Logan said, sitting on Xavier's sofa and hanging his head in defeat.

"Logan, I know Ororo, and I know that when she loses control, it's difficult for her to gain it back, or even to think clearly," Charles said in an attempt to reassure the other man, "What's happened here is that she no longer knows what to do, and all she needs is time away from you, awayfrom this place, time to think. I'm certain that once she ponders the matter for a few days, she'll realize that she needs all of this as much as you do. She'll come back to you, my boy; it just may take a while. You know what they say: if you love it, let it go, and if it comes back to you, then it's yours."


	6. Lightning Strikes

**Author's Note: Sorry that it took a little while to update...a thunderstorm knocked my power out and this is the first time I've been able to get online. As always, hope that you like the chapter and reviews are always appreciated.**

xXx

In contrast to desert days, desert nights are cold, and lonely for the solitary traveler. It was times like these that she felt farther away from Logan than ever, and she seriously considered going back to him, falling into his arms with tearful apologies and kisses to heal all of the wounds that she'd inflicted upon his soul. Almost two weeks had gone by; two lonely weeks of riding her winds across the entirety of the continent from which her ancestors had been born, the land that she still felt was her own.

She traveled by day, through the sands of the Sahara and Arabian deserts, to see the pyramids at Giza once again, or to dip her toes into the Atlantic ocean on the shores of Africa's coastal cities. Once, she'd spent a night in Morocco, but the sights, sounds, savory smells, and city lights had failed to heal her shattered spirit, and all the while she could think of nothing but how much nicer all of it would be if he were with her. When she closed her eyes, she had a perfect picture of the two of them, Logan wrapped in her arms as they rode the winds together, flying into the night, into eternity.

The thought of it brought tears to her eyes, and she shivered in the harsh chill of the night. She clutched her scarlet shawl even closer to her body, but it provided no comfort. She knew that the only thing that would warm her would be his touch, his hands on her bare skin, teasing and caressing, making her moan and forcing her to beg for more.

"No," she shook those thoughts away, but couldn't help but wonder whether she'd ever have that again. Only if she decided to go back to Logan. No other man ever would, ever _could_ touch her like that again. How long had it been, since they'd made love, really made love, and not just rolled around in bed for lack of anything more stimulating to do? Oh, Goddess, that last time had hurt her, torn her soul.

"But only because I let it hurt me," she thought, "and I hurt him with it, too." This was why she knew that she couldn't go back, not yet anyway. She wasn't over it, it was still all that she could think about, her pain, and how she let it wound him. She'd tried to brush it away, and, when that didn't work, she simply tried to hide it, but he could always tell, and when she was in pain, he tried to steal it from her, to make it his own so that she wouldn't have to feel it, a process that only resulted in both of them hurting.

Unconsciously, her hands traveled down to her belly, which once again lay flat and smooth upon her bones. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, and she'd give anything to change what had happened, and what she feared would never occur again.

"Not if you don't let it," she scolded herself, "You could have that again, you could have everything, if you'd only let this one go and be willing to try again."

Suddenly, her own thoughts were interrupted by a psychic jolt that sent her reeling.

"Ororo, can you hear me?" Professor Xavier's voice invaded her mind.

"Yes. Yes, I hear you," she replied, trying to use her mind to communicate.

"You need to come home, Ororo, as quickly as you can," he replied, "It's Logan. He's…he's dying, Ororo, and I know that he wouldn't want to go without you by his side."

"What?" she asked out loud, but there was no reply.

"Oh, Goddess," she muttered. As she summoned her winds and took off into the starry sky, she felt her heart break all over again.

xXx

"What happened?" she asked tearfully, curling herself into a ball on the black leather sofa. Professor Xavier moved closer to her, taking one of her hands and caressing it with his fingers.

"Magneto," Hank replied sadly. Ororo's head jerked up.

"Magneto? But, I thought…" she stammered.

"Yes, so did we," said Hank, "but it seems that the effects of the cure are beginning to wear off for all of the mutants who took it. He was greatly weakened; that was apparent to everyone when he showed up, but his powers were so strong before the cure that he still managed to do quite a bit of damage, and not only to Logan. Several students and a few teachers are also in the medical wing."

"He snuck into the school with no intent other than to destroy everything and everyone in his path," Charles informed Ororo, "He was obviously crazed and enraged. When Logan got wind of what was happening; he fled to face Magneto, to protect a group of very young students who were being attacked and could not defend themselves."

"One of the human teachers saw what was happening, but knew that he could do nothing, so he ran to rally up all of the mutant teachers," Hank elaborated, "I was the first to arrive, and I was horrified to see that Magneto was just…throwing Logan around, slamming him into walls and furniture. It was terrible, Ororo, he was already unconscious and his bones were just twisted and broken. When a few other teachers came, we were able to put a stop to it and apprehend Magneto. He's been taken away to another plastic prison, and I swear with my life, Ororo, that I'm going to do all that I can to have him tried for murder and handed down the death sentence."

"But what about Logan?" she asked.

"I did all that I could, Ororo, but his internal injuries were simply so severe; he was dying before I even began to work on him," said Hank. What he did not share with the weather witch was the fact that he felt, with the work that he'd done to save him, Logan could have pulled through, but, he'd simply seemed to have given up the will to live and had surrendered to his injuries. Dr. McCoy said nothing about this, though, because he knew that it was already too late.

"He's been in the medical wing for two days, hovering between life and death," the professor informed her, "We didn't call you at first because he was actually doing well for the first day and a half. And then, yesterday, he took a turn for the worst, and we knew that nothing could be done for him. We think that he's just been waiting for you, my dear, to come back to him and make your peace, so that he can die knowing that you loved him enough to come back."

"No…no no…" Ororo sobbed, "Where is he? I want to see him. It can't be true…it can't…"

"I'm afraid it is, dear, but I'll take you to the medical wing, just so that you can see for yourself," said Hank, taking both of her arms and helping her off of the sofa. He accompanied her to Logan's room in the medical wing, and then left the two of them alone so that she could say her goodbyes.

xXx

"I caused this, didn't I?" she said, taking Logan's hand and staring at the faint pulse waving green across the heart monitor by his bed. She knew that she'd get no answer; according to Hank, he'd been in a coma from which he couldn't be revived for the past two days.

"I wanted to stay with you," Ororo told him, "I should have stayed with you, but I thought that I was doing more harm than anything. It turns out that the best thing that I could have done would have been to stay. You were always by my side, Logan, through everything, even when it was difficult. But then, when things got tough, I left you here alone. I'm not as big of a person as you are. I put on my brave mask for everyone, but I melt inside as soon as things are too much for me.

You knew that; it's why you tried so hard to protect me, but I just couldn't let you. Maybe if I wouldn't have gone, I could have prevented this, I could have done something. I don't know what I'll do without you, Logan. I honestly don't."

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she turned away from him and went to the window, pushing the curtains aside to behold the storm that was brewing in the once-tranquil sky.

"Oh, Goddess, don't take him from me," she pleaded with tears in her eyes and lightning flashing in the sky before her, "I need him with me; he's all that keeps me alive. He's given me everything, and I've been too selfish to see it. If only I could save him somehow, I'd dedicate my life to repaying him for everything he's done for me."

The rain, by now, was streaming down in torrents. Beyond her own sobs, she could hear the cries of students whose outdoor activities had been interrupted by a rainstorm when the forecast had called for sunny skies. She closed her eyes and shook her head in a vain attempt to drive the tears away, but she had no control over the situation anymore.

Behind her, something beeped, and she turned around and ran back to the bed. When she glanced at the heart monitor, fear struck her heart just as another lightning bolt crackled through the sky. His heart rate was rapidly decreasing; Logan was dying right before her eyes.

On impulse, she braced both of her hands on his chest, and began screaming for Hank while begging Logan not to leave her at the same time. Ororo rested her head on his chest just as the heart monitor sounded out a flat beep and the green line on the screen went flat.

"Nooo!" she wailed against Logan's chest, her tears soaking his white hospital gown. The world around her spun and then went black as she lost all control over her mind and body. The last thing that she heard was the electric sizzle of lightning shooting through her fingertips before she felt pain rip through her body and she lost consciousness.


	7. Recovery

**Author's Note: Thanks to the few of you who actually gave me feedback on that last chapter. Most of you have been reading my stuff since the first chapter of "When the Stars Go Blue," and I thank you for following my writing and always encouraging me.You guys know who you are. Well, this is the last full chapter of this story. There may or may not be an epilogue. I was working on it but it's going slowly for me, so I'm still not sure. Also, I have an idea for another RoLo story (in no way related to this one), so if you guys would like to see more of this kind of writing from me, just let me know. But I digress. Enjoy the chapter.**

xXx

Ororo woke to her name being called urgently and to a headache the intensity of which she'd never felt before. She tossed her head to the front and, as her eyes re-adjusted, she saw the professor standing over her, leaning on his cane. When she lifted her head and looked around the room, she found that she was leaning against the wall opposite of Logan's bed. It was apparent that she'd been thrown nearly six feet across the room.

"Wha…what happened?" she asked through the haze of pain that permeated every cell in her body. She lifted one hand to brush through her hair in that old gesture of anxiety and what she found stunned her. Her nerves worked to pull her hand away as her hair shocked her. Ororo turned to a mirror on the other end of the room, only to see that all of her hair was standing on end.

"This is amazing!" she heard Hank's voice exclaim.

"What is it?" the professor asked.

"Come and see this, Charles," Hank ordered, "His heart rate…its better than it's been in days. All of his vital signs…everything is normal…healthy. It's as though something's stimulated his entire body and mind back into a state of perfect health."

Both of the men turned to gaze at Ororo, who was still dazed from the encounter.

"But, he died," she said, "He was…he…" She held her hands in front of her face and saw the last remnants of electricity curling around her fingers.

"Well, I'll be damned," she said before passing out once again.

xXx

Hank carried Ororo up to her bedroom and tucked her in, pronouncing that, because she had been the source of the electric blast, she had not been severely injured by it, simply shaken up. He insisted that all that she needed was bed rest, but resolved to monitor her until she was better. The professor enlisted the aid of Rogue and Kitty, who eagerly agreed to be excused from their classes for the next few days in order to stay with Ororo and serve as her nurses.

In the meantime, Dr. McCoy continued to monitor Logan, who came out of his coma merely an hour after Ororo was removed from the room, but, because he was still in a weakened state, fell asleep after being conscious for only an hour. Still, he was doing better than he had been for the past two days, and Hank made the decision that he was well enough to be taken from the medical wing and allowed to continue his recovery in his own bed. Besides, the doctor felt that being close to Ororo would only hasten Logan's healing process.

For almost two more days, the two of them were nothing more than a slumbering mass of arms and legs, tangled up in each other, each drawing comfort and strength from the close proximity to the other. They woke only to take their meals and pay the occasional visit to the restroom. Otherwise, they were lost to the world, lost in each other's thoughts and dreams.

In the deepest hours of their third night after being re-united, Ororo awoke with her heart full of guilt, and shook the slumbering man next to her into consciousness. He groaned as his eyes opened, but the noise was muffled as a pair of lips rose up to bestow upon him a kiss filled with remorse and apology.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she whispered through the darkness.

"Don't tell me that you're sorry," he answered her, "Just tell me that you're here to stay, that you'll never leave me again."

"I am, and I won't. It was so hard without you, Logan. My heart wept for you even when my eyes were dried out," she replied without hesitation.

"I still don't see how you could have done it, 'Ro," he told her.

"It was a stupid thing to do. I wasn't myself; I didn't think," she said, "But I missed you, Logan. It was like a part of me was gone, and I learned that I can't live without you. I missed us, I missed this."

She buried her face in the thick, dark hair of his chest.

"I don't know what I would have done if I'd have lost you," she whispered, "I probably wouldn't have lasted for very long myself."

"I know," he said, "but now we don't have to worry about that." He kissed her forehead, and then bent to plant a kiss upon her lips.

"You know, I'm kind of grateful that all of this happened," she said, "Almost losing you, Logan, it put everything into perspective for me. But there's something that I still don't understand, and I know that Hank is wondering about it, too, because it's just so strange."

"What?" he asked.

"Your healing factor. I don't understand how you could have reached the point of near-death. Why didn't your healing factor kick in while you were fighting Magneto?" she inquired.

"Oh, that," Logan replied, "I guess I haven't been awake enough to tell anyone about what actually happened that day, but I should've figured that it'd be something that Hank would need to know."

"What?" asked Ororo.

"He used the cure on me, 'Ro," said Logan. She looked at him in horror, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.

"Oh, jeez, 'Ro, it's not that bad," he said, "Magneto had this tiny syringe that was only about half full. I think all he wanted was to cripple me long enough to get a few really good swings, and then he ended up going crazy once he realized that I was too weak to even try to fight back."

"But, your powers…" she began, only to be cut off.

"My powers are gonna come back, 'Ro," he reassured her, "It's already been proven that the cure is temporary, and I didn't even get that much of it. Watch." He held up his hand, and she watched intently as his claws emerged. It was a slow process, one that took a great deal of thought on his part, whereas before he'd been able to unsheathe them at the drop of a pin.

"It's not all that impressive," he told her, "but it's a start." She nodded and smiled as he retracted his claws.

"We're gonna be okay this time, 'Ro," Logan said, taking her face in his hands, "and I'm not just saying that. I can feel it."

"I know. So can I. Logan, there's something else that I need to talk to you about," she said.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I did a lot of soul-searching while I was away from you, in Africa. I thought a great deal about…about us, and about the baby, and I decided something," she replied.

"And?" asked Logan, "What did you decide?"

"I realized that what I've wanted all along was for us to have a family together," she said, "Even after we lost the baby, I never truly gave up on that dream. It dawned on me that the only thing that kept us from having it was me, and my hesitation to let go of the past. Logan, I decided that, whenever you're well enough, whenever you're ready…I want us to try again."

"And you're sure of this, Ororo? You're absolutely positive that it's what you want?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, "Yes, I am."

"Well then," he kissed her again and cupped one of her breasts in his right hand, "I'm ready now." She giggled. "Oh, Logan," she said playfully.

"No," he growled, "I'm serious." He grabbed the bottom of her nightgown and lifted it away from her body, leaving her nude and glorious before him. As his lips and fingers roamed over every inch of her skin, she sighed in pleasure.

"I missed this," she whispered, "You don't know how much I missed it."


End file.
